I had a whole month of diving in a misery. I was just starting to feel I had enough. I once thought about making a trip to Japan right about now just to escape from reality. But I had a concert to Lindsey Stirling to attend. My fiancé bought me a ticket too already so I wanted to go and spend time with him since I missed out on the last concert he went with his friends while I was in Japan and was jealous.
I am glad I got to see Lindsey in concert. She was amazing even though I had to watch the whole entire concert on my tippy toes. She said during her concert that she lost her keyboard member who was like family to her last year. Also she actually just lost her father 3 months ago. She said she was sad and angry and jealous, thinking why all the good people keep taking away from me. Then she realized gratitude heals everything. She started focusing on how wonderful of a people she had in her life and had appreciation for them instead of dwelling on the loss. It's not what you have lost, it's what you have right in front of you.
I have lost a lot recently. And like she was, I was angry at myself, sad as hell, and jealous of all the people with kids. But I realized I have to be grateful for loving people in my life. My fiancé, my family, my few good friends, and Rex.
She was also talking about how successful people are not successful because they didn't fail. it's because they failed and failed so many times. The only difference is that they get back up and become even stronger. Those were 2 things I really needed to hear, to be grateful for what's in front of me, and to get back up again.
often times, I think I still take Rex for granted. He didn't have a choice to be a part of our family. I should spoil and pamper him more, accept him and love him more, like I loved Pepe. A part of me still feels bad of giving all to him, I think, but without Rex in my life, I would be totally lost, so I should be grateful for his presence.
i was rushing for baby because of my age, but I think we have to do things in order if that was my plan all along. Do all the things we were supposed to do first, like get married and all that.