Last night I had this vivid dream of Pepe. I saw him in the corner of a room somewhere. I was like...."Rex, i mean....Pepe??" and picked him up and held him in my arm. Now I was walking with Pepe and Rex together in my arm. Pepe took a little glance at Rex but he didn't seem interested. Just like how he was never interested in other dogs. But it wasn't like they were fighting. They just sort of blended into one and I woke up.
It was so real that i kept thinking about it for a while. What is this dream trying to tell me? So my interpretation after thinking about it all day is this... that he is trying to tell me that he is with me always and that he is probably living vicariously through Rex so he is always next to Rex. When I hold Rex, Pepe is probably right there with me.
I also took it as a sign that he missed me. And that he wanted me to clean up his ashes area by my bed. His sweets have been sitting there for a while. My mom's temple for Pepe looks much nicer. Plus I think he just wanted to tell me that it is okay to start loving Rex and accepting Rex more. It's not that I am mean to Rex or anything like that but there was a part of me that I felt like ...he is only a second dog after Pepe... he is a replacement....
But I think he wanted to tell me that Pepe is Rex and that he wanted me to love him and be nice to him more. After this dream, now I feel like I am much closer to Rex and that I accept him as my love. Rex is Pepe. His spirit is living through Rex. Love him like I loved Pepe.
So I took Rex for a walk to the park today and revisited Pepe's favorite spot where we can see diamond head. Rex was so happy that he was finally outside and ran like a crazy dog. And we both stopped for a moment at the bench overlooking Diamondhead.
Tonight I found myself not as mad when he gets all crazy. Because I felt like this is Pepe too. He is turning into Pepe. Not completely of course because Rex is a different dog with different looks and personality, but to think Pepe's spirit is inside Rex, I felt more comfortable with Rex.
I asked Pepe to give me signs when he passed away and he showed me so many signs when he just passed away because I needed that. Now I think he came back to tell me that it's about time that I start accepting Rex. Because Rex is him.