Rex's puppy biting is so bad. My whole arm and body hurts from him biting all over me. And it's pretty sharp bite. I get so irritated when he bites me. Pepe never ever bit me. Not even once. But maybe that was rare. I had a perfect dog before. Rex is a regular dog and very wild. If I take him for a walk, his energy is better and calm. But when he doesn't go for a walk, it gets so bad at night. Sometimes he only bites me. Not my fiancé. WHY????? It is just so frustrating and irritating. He is pretty cute if he doesn't do any of that. When he is mellow and laid back during the day, he is such a cutie, But when he starts biting me, All I see is this little evil monster. Is it going to stop? Sometimes I get so discouraged. I compare Pepe and Rex too much maybe. I didn't know what Pepe was like when he was a puppy either. But according to Dr Fujitani, he was always a patient and perfect dog, so..... ugh. I was just real lucky before, I guess.
Nothing compares to you, Pepe. But this is not a competition. I love Rex for who he is. He is a character. But he is not like you. I will never find a dog like you. You were one of a kind and everyone knew that. You came into my life when I needed you most. I was really blessed to be your mom for good 8 years.
This is an old pic of Pepe and my dad. At least 5-6 years ago. Pepe really liked grandpa because he knew he would take good care of him. My dad never talked to Pepe in a lovey dovey manner, so sometimes he seemed scared of him. But when I went to pick them up at the airport when they come visit Hawaii, Pepe used to kiss his face and sit on his lap like he really missed him. This was when my dad was brushing his coat and I think he kind of liked it.
My mom told me that my dad apparently cried when Pepe passed away. Pepe was such an innocent perfect little boy and his grandparents loved him. My dad enjoyed taking Pepe for a walk around my studio in Waikiki because he would get so much attention from young girls. My dad used to say Pepe is a very special dog and hard to find a cute and perfect dog like this one.
When Pepe passed away, we all went to Okinawa together. It was a sad time and everything I saw reminded me of Pepe. Again, my parents were there for me when I was going through life's roughest period. Pepe's death was a huge bump in my life. But because of my fiancé, and also my parents support, I was able to overcome it and put much easier closure. I just can't imagine my parents to be not in my life. Why is God so cruel sometimes that they have to take all the people I love away from my life now? My dad is my foundation, and I will be totally empty and powerless without him. i can't imagine him to get weaker. My dad is a perfect dad, just like Pepe was a perfect dog. I definitely consider myself lucky. I mean, my dad was really strict growing up but he had his plan. I am who I am because of him. He had and has such a huge influence on my life and I am just not,....never ready for him to go.
These days, I have been thinking so much about death, and losing people I love, and on becoming solo, all by myself and having to be independent. I thought after everything that happened to me, I have nothing to fear. But I do have the fear about losing people that matter in my life. Partly because I am not anywhere near independent. Financially, career wise, just not ready. I learned a lot from my 2nd divorce and that made me a stronger person, but still I need to grow up and learn to be independent, I think this has a lot to do with a fact that I am all about myself and don't have children. I need to be more responsible for myself. My dad told me that he will do whatever it takes to hang in there until he gives all he has, but meanwhile that i have to be able to do things for myself by myself. I always have this flash back of this little girl inside of me sitting in the living room at my parents house and feeling scared, like she needs protection. I think she is a little stronger now but she hasn't disappeared yet. I have to be ready though, for what might happen one day. But right now I am not mentally ready and I am never ready. I just love my dad too much and don't want to lose him. Just like how I loved Pepe. He is my rock and my foundation.
Pepe, please don't take him away from me yet. I am not ready. I am especially not ready after I just lost you. Please don't take his hand to take him away from me yet. Please just watch over him so that he can hang in there and live a little longer. I am asking you please, don't take him yet.
