It's been almost 7 months since he passed away. Yesterday, his fur that I have put next to his ashes flew over me, as he wanted me to hold him. That night me and my fiancé went to see "the secret life of pets". The main character "Max" made me think of him. How loyal he was to the owner and how much he loved her...and how special of a relationship they had.
We certainly had a very special relationship. He was my best friend. He was always there for me. I only knew him since he was 5 1/2 year old, and only got to spend 8-9 years together, but what a wonderful years I had with Pepe.
Pepe worked so hard in loving everyone throughout his life and his heart just wore out. He taught me about so much unconditional love, patience and forgiveness. He taught me about death and still teaching me about grief. I have not given myself time to process his death completely just yet. Rex helps me cope with sadness and emptiness since Pepe left, but I know I need to face that feeling more.
Pepe and I were always together. He was there for me in every step of the way. I didn't know dogs can be this amazing until Pepe came into my life. He sort of opened my grief box when he passed away. to look at the memories of those I had lost. and to have gratitude fro the time we shared, to think what I have learned from them, and to be ready for future death and how I should handle the experience.
Death can happen so suddenly. Your beloved friends and family can be taken away from you at any second at any rate. It just happens so fast that you're not ready for it. Departure is so hard. I still remember how I left him at the vet and how sad he looked. I have never seen Pepe look that sad in my whole entire life. It was beyond something that I can explain. I have never seen anybody or any living thing look that sad. It is hard to deal with the emptiness Pepe left in my heart. But he taught me that I have to stay strong and just keep on living.
His spirits will forever be with me and I am not sure if he has already returned to me in another doggy body which is of Rex. I am not sure. I recently feel a lot of Pepe presence in Rex. It;s hard to tell. But I think Pepe knew that I needed a dog in my life. I mean... I socialize through dogs.
I just miss him so, so much. But I have so much gratitude for the time we shared together and how much love he dedicated to me. I was so dependent on him and was devastated when he left, but I know he is watching over me. I love you so much Pepe. You are still my everything.
