My dear friend in Cali sent this to me, because she knows how much of a hard times that I have been through and thought that I would enjoy it. Sure enough, it really resonated with me.
http://universityofcalifornia.edu/news/sheryl-sandberg-speaks-heart-uc-berkeley-commencement
It really is the hard days, the times that challenge you to your very core....that will determine who you are. Death happens so fast. So we have to live each day like it is our last. Always have the appreciation and gratitude...that really is the key to life. Losing Pepe helped me find deeper gratitude for the kindness of my "true" friends, "loyal" family, and my boyfriend who really showed he cares.
You can't do it all alone. Because of people in your life, you can build resilience. I have come this far about losing Pepe because of them.
I have come this far in my life about losing everything I thought I had, thanks to my family and my "true" friends. I no longer want a crazy life.
I want to lead a quiet life because I feel like I have experienced enough tragedy in my life. I never liked rollercoaster because I thought my life was like a roller coaster. Why should I even try to force myself to experience the thrill when I get enough in my life already,right? But it will keep on coming like waves. It's ying and yang and never stop. We just have to learn to overcome it each time. And each time we fall back, we become stronger.
I have lost a lot of souls. It all happened so quickly. I realize now that it's very important to turn on the lights for the new lives because life is just so fragile. Why didn't I think of it before? It's just a natural cycle of all living things. Because we all live and die one day.
I miss Pepe everyday. Sometimes I still cannot believe he is gone. When they leave you, they don't leave you much space to be prepared. You are never prepared for death. But Pepe taught me to appreciate life and have gratitude for everything around me. Because he was always grateful for his life and was very humble. When shit hits the fan, I just have to remind myself to live today like it is the last, because it may be your last. Or, it may be the last for whomever you're angry toward. Forgive and move on. Life is too precious.