People react so differenty during the mourning process. I found out a lot of my other collgeagues I work with also lost their dogs recently. It has been a crazy time for good dogs! Maybe there is a special dog conference in heaven and all the good dogs have to attend for some future planning. Wel, at least they go to heaven. And Pepe has friends to hang out with. Even though he never really liked other dogs and only liked people, I hope he gets along with them now.
It's interesting to discover how people react different during the phase of mournig. Some mourn in total silence. For example, this photographer guy that I work with a lot, his beloved dog passed away too recently. But he didn't post anything anywhere or didn't tell anyone. Just mourn in silence. This other lady that I know,she said when she lost her dog, she said she kept it a secret for a while because she didn't want to tell anyone. That's awfully strange to me. But I guess people are really different when it comes to coping with death. Some people just numb their feelings and try to distract themselves that way they don't have to think about it or deal with it. Well, whatever works for them, I guess.
But for me, it's all about deep emotion. I want to cry and feel sad until I get tired of feeling that way. That way I don't have to repeat it or have that feeling haunt me after years have gone by.
I can't force someone to feel certain way. I do it my way and I believe this is the way that works with me. I still get bouts of depression and crying spell. sometimes when I see images of dog that reminds me of Pepe, I just start crying, like even at the gym. Good thing they cant tell whether that's tears or sweat.
I do want to think about him everyday because I love him and I want him to know that I will never ever forget about him. But maybe that makes things harder. I really wish I could bring him back. Heaven is a good place but don't you wish you were back here with mama again too?