We went to look for puppy dogs at some pet stores today for the first time since Pepe passed away. There weren't too many dogs. One applehead chihuahua was sold and already gone. And we bumped into Pepe's vet Dr Fujitani as if it was planned that way. When I saw her, it gave me all the flashback of what happened about a month and a half ago. And I got extremely sad and tears rolled down my eyes. I am ready to find another dog but my scar hasn't quite healed yet. Jan 12 will always be a crappy day to remember. This picture is the one I took when doc was trying to take his paw print after he died. She made him look alive in this pic by the way she was holding him. I kind of kept hoping he will wake up. It was hard for me to see that he stopped moving completely on his own.
She said "when the right one comes...." and I do believe that the right one will come one day. There is no way to find a good dog like Pepe again. But Maybe I can find a dog similar to him.
We went to another pet store after that and now I bumped into my friend. She always comes around when times are tough for me. I was feeling crappy about Pepe after seeing the doc so it was nice to see a friend. I was trying not to feel guilty about getting another dog but the fact that I was looking made me feel sad. Everybody else at the store had a cute dog and I didn't have Pepe any more. He was my proud treasure...
I guess we will have to keep on looking, but I don't know how to find another replacement for Pepe. But I can't imagine a life witout a dog either. It just feels really empty without him. I have a boyfriend who lives with me and that's great at all but we used to talk about Pepe a lot. Now that part is missing from our life, I feel like we need to work on talking more about us, now that he's gone. He was like our baby.
I don't know how long it will take to find another dog. I just feel like if we don't try, time will just pass and I get numb and end up not finding a dog. It's okay to have this time to mourn his loss, maybe he wants me to travel without worrying about him for now, or he wants me to try something else. But I will find a dog again. So I can remember positive things about Pepe and not so much about sad stuff.