Pepe had a heart condition ever since he was 6 and was on 3 different medications. Those medicines weren't cheap. and I highly doubt he enjoyed taking those medicines because they made him feel groggy. He wasn't the strongest dog health-wise, but he had a heart of gold. Everybody loved Pepe.
He was such a healing, comforting dog and was loved by so many people. He became a radio show mascot for the live radio show that I used to host from Hawaii to Japan for 7 yrs, he was a TV commercial dog for JTB and Hawaii Garbage Disposal, and many others. The cartoonist Roy Chang who have the regular column on Midweek, features Pepe as his mascot and he still appears in weekly comic on the front page of Midweek.
But one thing he didn't know what to do was how to handle other dogs. He didn't have many dog friends. Apparently he was never around dogs so much in his life and mostly surrounded by people so he just didn't know how to socialize with other dogs. The only dog that he ever came close to was the same apple head chihuahua who belongs to my friend named Ringo. Ringo lives in LA but she was in Hawaii for a few months due to her mommy's situation. So Ringo and Pepe went on a lot of date together. And I think Pepe felt like she was her friend and probably had a little crush on her.
His legs and knees were getting weaker and weaker especially after he turned 10. But he was a little chubby so in order to give him a little bit walking exercise, I would take Pepe to the park to have him at least smell the fresh grass but whenever other dogs pass by him, his fur stood up and he was terrified of other dogs. I swear he didn't think he was a dog and whenever he saw himself in the mirror, he was probably wondering why he was so hairy.
But there was his favorite spot that he would always go and sit down at Ala Moana Park. He enjoyed looking at Diamond head from Magic Island. We start walking and he always stopped there and didn't want to move for long time. He looked so peaceful buried into the grass that people often laughed at him. All the other dogs are so hyper and running around everywhere at the park, but there he was, he was just chilling and relaxing looking at the view of Diamond head. We would often sit on this bench and look at diamond head together. Unless I picked him up, he never wanted to leave. I actually enjoyed going to the park with him. The air was so different there and I felt like we were both getting some kind of cleansing of our energy. I am sure Pepe felt the same way and that's why he enjoyed hanging out there.
After he passed away, we went to ala moana park one last time before I had to drop him off to the vet for cremation. I had this doggie cart that my friend gave me, but I never used it because I was going to use it after he wasn't able to walk. Well, I never got to use this cart for that purpose. But I was able to put him in the cart and me and my boyfriend went for a one last walk with Pepe. I was really happy that my boyfriend came too because he didn't come to the park for a walk with Pepe too many times. We walked all over the park because he was on the cart and we could go so much faster than him using his own feet. He was such a slow walker and stop and smell every polls so it took him forever to keep on going.
The day when we went for a last walk, it was so voggy. As if his ashes were in the air. Ever since he passed away, and every time Pepe tried to make us aware of him, it looks voggy outside. It was a beautiful voggy sunset that day.
What I remember most about that walk is actually not about Pepe but about what my boyfriend told me. He said "We will find another dog again. Pepe wants us to share our love with another dog too, he is not like that... just like if I die, I don't want to be your last boyfriend. I love you and I want you to be happy so I want you to find another guy who will make you happy. " What he told me deeply touched my heart. I really felt like Pepe left a torch of his love to my boyfriend. He was done with his mission to be my cheerleader and supporter. I thought Pepe was everything I had and I counted on him so much. Maybe it was getting a little too heavy for him. I think Pepe knew he could trust him, as I know Pepe loved him soooo much, I had never seen Pepe deeply attached to a guy other than my boyfriend. He showed so much affection to him than he ever showed anyone. So maybe he decided to leave this place a little early, who knows.
I had a lot going on in my head that day. He looked like he would wake up and start walking and beg for food any minute. He had a smile on his face and still looked like a puppy taking a nap. I do have regrets and what if's. But even if he survived, I don't think he wanted me to see him suffer. I think he wanted to leave me with a lasting impression of being cute, and being his best.... not sickly and suffering.
Who knows. Maybe I will use this dog cart again. So I am not going to throw it away. I have a lot of things that I still keep as it is. It's been 2 weeks and a half since he left. It's way too soon for me to remove all his belongings.
I enjoyed taking a walk with you, Pepe. I will go back out there soon without you and think of you, and think of how much fun we had, and how amazing and cleansing it felt to be there with you.
I miss you, Pepe.
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